The Truth About Your Boy Mom Story

Are you lying awake waiting for your teenage son to get home? Maybe you're staring at another failed test, or watching him spend hours gaming instead of doing homework. Your anxiety builds with each passing minute. I get it - I've been there too, more times than I can count.

Here's the thing: what if I told you that most of your parenting stress isn't coming from what's actually happening, but from the stories you're telling yourself about what's happening?

Let me explain.

The Game-Changing Mindset Shift

In any situation with your son, there are two parts: the facts and the story. Facts are things that could be proven in a court of law, they are the circumstances of our lives. Stories? They're what our minds create about those facts.

Think about this common scene: Your son comes home 30 minutes past curfew.

The fact is simple: He's 30 minutes late.

But what's the story playing in your head?

• "He's being irresponsible"
• "He doesn't respect me"
• "He'll never learn"
• "Something terrible has happened"
• "He's going to end up like his uncle who..."

Sound familiar?

Why This Matters for Boy Moms

By the time your son walks through the door, you're probably fuming. But here's the truth: you're not angry about him being late. You're angry about the stories you've created in your mind around his lateness.

Is he in the wrong?  YES!  But when we let our minds run wild with stories and speculations when he does come home the conversation is filled with accusations and defensiveness rather than curiosity and conversation. 

It's like when it snows outside. The fact is: it's snowing. But one person might think, "Ugh, this is going to be a miserable day," while another thinks, "Perfect day for hot chocolate and movies!" Same fact, different stories.

The Real Problem

When we get caught up in our stories, we lose our power to parent effectively. We're too busy defending our story and searching for evidence of their truth to:

• Listen to our sons
• Understand their perspective
• Find real solutions
• Build connection

Breaking Free: A Simple Solution

Here's how to separate facts from stories:

1. Pause and identify the facts. Just the facts. Example: "My son got a 54 on his math test."
2. Notice your story. What meaning are you adding? "He's lazy" or "He'll never get into college" are stories, not facts, which means they are optional.  
3. Ask yourself:
• How is my story true?
• How might my story not be true?
• What else could be true?

The Magic of This Approach

When you separate facts from stories, something amazing happens.  You start telling yourself the truth.  You stay in the present without bringing up the past and speculating the future.  You can begin to worry less and parent more.

Instead of lecturing and getting defensive, you can approach situations with curiosity. This opens up real conversations with your son.

Remember: Your stories aren't wrong or bad - they're normal and human. The power comes from recognizing them as optional interpretations rather than absolute truth.

You don't have to believe everything you think!!

Real Life Example

Let's say your son spends hours on his phone.

Fact: Your son uses his phone for 4 hours daily. Story: "He's wasting his life" or "He'll never learn responsibility"

By separating the fact from your story, you can:

• Have calmer conversations about phone use
• Understand what he's actually doing on his phone
• Set reasonable boundaries together
• Maintain your connection while addressing the behavior

Your Next Step

Parenting boys doesn't have to feel heavy. You can learn to separate facts from stories and transform your relationship with your son.

Want to dive deeper into this and other powerful strategies for raising good men? Grab my free Boy Moms Blueprint. It's packed with practical tools to help you:

• Parent with confidence
• Build stronger connections
• Navigate tough conversations

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE BOY MOMS BLUEPRINT

You're doing better than you think. Sometimes all we need is a small shift in perspective to create big changes in our relationships.