Are you ready for a game-changer? Today, we're diving into something that could totally transform your life as a mom of a teenage son. Buckle up, because we're about to talk about your personal worth and value - and why your happiness is an inside job.

Let me paint you a picture. One of my clients, let's call her Sarah, found herself in a familiar situation. She'd asked her 14-year-old son to clean up his room for the millionth time. Frustrated and fed up, she yelled at him and stormed out to sit alone in her car, hoping he would notice her frustration and finally do what she'd asked.

Sound familiar? I bet it does. But here's the thing: this behavior is called manipulation. When we behave in a way that we hope makes someone else change, whether we realize it or not, is manipulation, and the result is always resentment on your part or theirs. 

Think about it for a second. When we do this, we're handing over control of our emotions to someone else - in this case, our kid. And let's be honest, he’s not exactly an expert at managing his own emotions, let alone yours!

So, what's the alternative? It's called "emotional adulthood." Sounds fancy, right? But it's actually pretty simple. It's all about realizing that your emotional wellbeing and worth come from inside you, not from someone else's behavior.  Your emotions come from the stories you are telling yourself about the situation. 

You see, once you understand that your thoughts create your emotions, you gain a superpower. You become emotionally independent. And trust me, that's the best news ever!

At first, this concept might feel a bit uncomfortable. It's like trying on a new pair of shoes - it takes some getting used to. But once you break them in, you'll wonder how you ever lived without them.

So, how does this look in real life? Well, it starts with giving yourself compliments for your efforts, not necessarily your kid’s  response. You appreciate what you do as a mom and how you're available for your teen. You take care of your emotional health because you know it's the best gift you can give your family.

And here's the kicker: when you do this, you're not just helping yourself. You're teaching your teen a valuable skill that will benefit him and his future family. Talk about a win-win!

Remember Sarah from earlier? After working together, she had a total mindset shift. Instead of sitting in her car hoping for a reaction, she started appreciating her own efforts. "I've communicated clearly and set reasonable expectations," she'd tell herself. "I'm doing a great job as a mom."

And you know what? Her son started noticing. Not because she was manipulating him, but because she was no longer yelling and sulking. He saw a mom who was confident, non-reactive, and self-assured. And slowly but surely, he started picking up on those traits too.

Now, don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean your teen will suddenly become an angel who always clean his room without being asked. (If you figure out that secret, let me know!) But it does mean you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with raising him, and keep your relationship strong along the way.

So, here's your challenge: Start treating your personal worth and value as an inside job. Give yourself credit for your efforts. Appreciate what you do as a mom. Take care of your emotional health.

And if your family recognizes your efforts and compliments you? Well, that's just icing on the cake.

Remember, you've got this. Your worth isn't determined by your teen's behavior or anyone else's opinion. It comes from you. And that, my friend, is the most empowering news you'll hear all day.

Ready to start your journey towards emotional adulthood? I'm here to help. Let's chat about how you can become the confident, emotionally stable mom you've always wanted to be – schedule a call HERE. Your teen (and future you) will thank you for it!